The small voice opened his eyes a crack with a crowbar applied with brutal force. His own personal little alarm clock, he called her. At least, that was one of the more affectionate names for his daughter.
He struggled up to get to her room, wondering what was wrong - what in the hell was the time again, bloody 3:30 AM??? She'd never woken up at this time, in all her short 5-month-old life. Trying desperately to avoid bashing into doorframes, he staggered to her bedroom to find an amazing sight...
In the middle of her cot, his daughter was standing ramrod straight (Impossible!) with the tiniest card table (Improbable!) making sandwiches (No way!) for herself to eat.
"Uhhhhh..." he said, mystified at what he was seeing.
"Oh. Uhm. Yeah. Sorry, Daddy, I got hungry for a midnight snack..." His 5-month old daughter wasn't just saying her first word, but sentence, statement, apology, and everything earth-shattering which usually happens much, MUCH later.
"Uhhh, that's okay, little girl, uhm, you be careful with that uhhh... knife?" She held a small vegetable-cutting knife in her little hands - usually so out of control - and was using it to cut open a tomato.
"Of course, Daddy, you always tell me that sharp things are to be handled with care!" She grinned sweetly.
"Okay, well, if you're allright then..."
"I'm fine, Daddy, I love you" That familiar grin, yet words coming out of her mouth as well...
"I'm going to go back to bed."
"Cool. I'll be doing the same in a few minutes. Good night, Daddy."
"Good night..."
He staggered back to bed, marvelling at what had just happened. His little girl could not only talk, but she was obviously walking, and holding things, and making sandwiches! I wonder if that means she had teeth now, it was hard to see in the dark... his reverie was interrupted by that little voice again.
He struggled out of bed again, saying "Oh, honey, what is it?" and fully expecting an answer. By the time he'd got to his daughter's room, the card table had gone, the knife had gone, the tomatoes, the sandwiches, it was all gone. His daughter was just crying and crying wordlessly, as she had always done.
Disappointed, he realised he must have been dreaming, changed her nappy rather expertly in the dark, and returned to bed again.
LOL... figured it was a dream but that was hilarious!
ReplyDelete"Oh. Uhm. Yeah. Sorry, Daddy, I got hungry for a midnight snack..."
too funny! and i like how bub says "cool" hahaha... maybe this is all just wishful thinking? that bub will suddenly be independant and you can get a little shuteye at night? ;D
Very funny. I don't think the story need any thing else. Nice dream for the character to have ;) Go on, send it out to an fiction ezine!
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