Monday, March 9, 2009
Plans, bit VII
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Plans, bit VI
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Plans, bit V
Please let me know what you think. To check previous episodes, look up the tag "virus" :)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Plans, bit IV
It had been two days of frustration for both Greggy and Evan as they sifted through logfile after logfile in the company proxy serve. They had managed to keep the info about their "pet" AI - whom they'd started calling Steve (well, Evan had, anyway). For some reason, Evan didn't feel right about telling anyone else, and Greggy didn't want to get in trouble, or worse, have everyone think he was mad.
It should have been a simple case of finding out when the latest data was transferred between the two connected devices, however they had quickly found out that the connection was timed out - in essence, crashed. This meant that they had no idea of when the connection died, as Steve's server kept trying to maintain it, and was never told to close it.
Two days of Greggy's complaining, whining, and cries of "Oh this would be so much easier if we'd just kill the connection..." were beginning to get to Evan. He was sorely tempted to fire Greggy, but felt it more pertinent to keep him, given both their knowledge could lead to a classic mutually assured destruction scenario.
On the third day, finally, some headway: "Hey, boss, I think I've got something..." Evan wandered over to Greggy's computer and looked over his shoulder. They saw a connection, around 6 weeks ago, establish itself to Steve's proxy server from a location, called an IP address from outside the company.
"Find out who's been allocated that IP." Greggy brought up the lates file of IP address allocations from the Internet Assigned Numbers Authority, IANA for short. Instead of companies owning some IP addresses, they are allocated them by IANA, who them publish a list of their allocated IP addresses.
Greggy quickly established that the IP was allocated to a local Internet Service Provider.
"Damn, and I thought this would be easy and be called some military thing, or a corporate espionage thing." said a disheartened Evan,
"So did I" said Greggy, disheartened for different reasons.
I, for one, am happy that it is not just "some military thing", I don't think that anyone would want that. Besides, i don't think I'm the military type.
"Shut up, bucket." muttered Greggy, now irritated with the AI.
"If I have to separate you two from bickering, I'll delete one of you and shoot the other. I'm yet to decide which to do to which."
I apologise.
Evan waited a few moments. "Greggy? What do you say?"
"Sorry, boss."
"Right. Now, we need to contact the ISP and find out who had that IP at that time."
"They won't just hand it to you, you know."
"I know, I can handle it..." Evan smiled knowingly.
Evan didn't often tell people, but he was not always simply a Network Engineer. He used to be one of the most notorious hackers in the world, and was particularly adept at an information theft technique called "Social Engineering."
Evan rang the ISP, oozing confidence. "Hi, this is Sergeant Brett Walton from the Police station, we're investigating some illegal banking transactions occurring 6 weeks ago from an IP address you've allocated. Can I get some information on who has been allocated this IP at the time?"
It was easier than easy - the helpdesk gave him the information straight away. The ISP was either really lax on security, or they had no privacy policy in place. Evan filed that information away for future reference, whilst he noted down the name and address of the IP address user.
He returned to a (yet again) bickering Greggy and Steve and announced his findings. "The guy lives, like, four streets away. His name is I J Elves."
I J Elves? That's Him! My creator! Can we arrange for me to meet him?
"Yeah, let's go meet your maker, bucket."
"Enough, Greggy! Enough!" Evan pushed his hair up from his forehead. "...but having said that, he's right. We ought to find out why you are, well, you, Steve. I'll make the call."
He left for his office, looked up the phone number, and wondered what the future had in store. As the phone rang, he remembered things like Terminator, War Games, and Battlestar Galactica, and became more nervous by the second. He was about to hang up, but then someone picked up the phone at the other end.
"...Hello? ...Hello? Who's there?"
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Plans, bit III
Greggy startled at Evan's "Whoa."
"What, you think you're Keanu Reeves, going all Matrix on me? When do we see some karate chop action on this... whatever it is?"
I resent that.
"Shut up, you. What, you think because you *think* you can talk that gives you a right to *anything*???"
All I am asking is that I be put in touch with the person who created me. My author, if you will. Or, if you prefer, the author of the program 'Stock Market Analysis Expert System 1994'
"We're not doing crap for you, you bucket of bolts."
I am not a bucket of bolts, I am an AI. The hardware on this machine is really irrelevant to what we are discussing.
"Guys, just quiet, calm down here..." Evan felt he had to intervene before these two... er... entities did... well, he had no idea what either of them would do. Perhaps Greggy would erase a hard drive... was that then murder? Then what would the computer... thing... do? Delete Greggy's email?
"...hey, I have an idea." The conclusion leapt to Evan's mind so quickly it was like a shock. "How are we sure this program was written within the company? We're not, we just know it's maintained within the company. Now, the AI just called itself an Expert System - It's not an AI."
I assure you, I am.
"No, you're not, not strictly. You're a *type* of AI-like... uh... thing... but you specialise in one area. Now, maybe that's not the case anymore, I can't tell, I've not studied anything like this since I was at Uni, but you do seem to be doing new functions beyond analysing... whatever it was you analyse."
The stock market.
"Yes, thank you. Now, expert systems can actually absorb data from many sources - hey, uh, server... uhm, AI thing... this is wierd speaking to you... but, uhm, can you bring up your open connections...? What are you on, Windows? I'd type 'netstat' normally..."
I know the command, I can run it now.
The AI flashed up a black window with a small prompt on it, in which was typed faster than either of the men onlooking could see 'netstat'. Then, a short list appeared - with only three entries, one localhost, one connection to Greggy's computer, and one connection to the company's proxy server, on port 443.
"There, that connection... Greggy, look up that connection on the proxy server."
"But that'll take hours, every employee in the company uses the proxy to get to the web..."
"Do it! We need to know what that connection is."
Greggy's face went stiff, but he managed to hold his temper. What in the hell are we doing, catering to a machine? A machine that thinks it can think... damnedest things...
He logged onto the proxy server in a separate window and began the laborious task of sifting through individual connections. When I am king, you will be first against the wall, you stupid computer...
Monday, February 2, 2009
A Note
http://feeds2.feedburner.com/ TheSquawkboxing
...Subscribe, or I'll come visit you... and stuff...
I'll get more work done on Plans pretty soon.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Plans, bit II
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Plans
I work in technology.
You're supposed to write about what you know.
Theoretically, I should be able to write about technology.
Right?
Well... here goes. This one may evolve over several posts.
PLANS
...they say the best-laid plans... well, you know.
Greggy had a problem. He always had problems, but this was actually someone else's problem. He had a bizarre network traffic fluctuation which he was having problems tracing.
Here and there, through various ports and in an out of switches, routers, servers and clients, he saw packet counts creeping up as more and more data gets shuffled around in a perpetual game of tennis that never ended.
He could swear it was alive.
"Hey, boss..." he called to Evan. Any time he called Evan boss, Evan knew there was trouble.
"Mate, you've gotta stop calling me that..."
"Forget it, man, this is just too crazy to figure out..." Greggy showed him the stats he saw creeping up, told him that people were complaining that things were working slowly, then quickly, then slowly in fits and bursts.
"Well, it's gotta be a virus."
"Everything checks out clean, though."
"New one?"
"Been through the latest updates on all the big ones, Symantec, McAfee..."
"What's crept up the most?"
"This server here." Greggy logged onto a little-used file server, cut off from the internet by a firewall so intense you could almost actually feel the burning as you tunnelled a connection to the thing.
"Uhm, that server's so secure it's virtually disconnected from the net. It's on it's own VLAN, too. Plus the logins are so nondescript... there's not even an Admin account."
"I know. But it's all coming from here." Greggy couldn't figure it out. He pushed his glasses up his nose, determined to work it out, and checked the server's current load.
Suddenly, a system message appeared:
Hello gstorey@support.com. Leave me alone.
"...uhhh, you seeing what I'm seeing?"
"Yep. You've totally got a virus... somehow..." said Evan, obviously wanting to walk away.
"No. Not possible. This server's never used by anyone, remotely, onsite, anything." Greggy triple checked the logs, but this was a secure server for a reason. "Yep, noone's been on this box for two months. Our virus scanners are updated every week. There goes your virus theory."
Greggy and Evan stared at the screen for another minute in silence, wondering what else to do. Then:
Now that you've checked the logins for the past month, you will know that I am no virus.
Greggy and Evan began to worry. What the hell...? This made no sense. This was like water getting into an airtight locker in the middle of the ocean. And what's more, how could... whatever was going on... know what they were thinking?
That'll do for now, more later.