What's with all those carrots, what do they need such good eyesight for anyway?

...apologies to Joss Whedon.

This sheer idiocy is the result of stupidity occurring within emails. But hey, it was entertaining enough to get a minor laugh. So, henceforth, and so on, I present to you, the Note of Concern for the Welfare of Friends in the Face of Dire Invasion from Peoples of Nasty Persuasion.

My friend,

I write to you with grave concerns for both your welfare, and my own. In regards to my own, I suppose I could say how windy it is outside, but the last few weeks instead of thinking that's relief from heat, I wonder how many bushfires that's driving, and if any of my loved ones are affected. I could talk about my wife and child, but then with the child having stayed up two hours past her bedtime (till 9 PM), yelling and screaming due to grave illness, and the dear wife also stricken in the side of her mouth, that, too, is kinda depressing. Well, too late for some of that, I guess. Perhaps I shall talk about The Bunnies.

No, not the bunnies you'd keep as fluffy pets at home in a hutch, I'm talking about machine-gun wielding Attack bunnies from Attack Force Z! YES that's right, Attack Force Z are invading Australia, and I don't know how long I will be able to maintain control of my computer. It could be any second my transmission gets cut off because they don't want the world to know they're invading. What's more, they're everywhere! EVERYWHERE, my friend! That kid with the rabbit down the road from your place? Bunny naval commando. Those wild hares running free across the UK and Europe? Infantry. Rampant bunnies across Australian farms and fields, eating farms away as they go? Engineering corp. Hugh Jackman hosting the Oscars? Well, he's the worst of the worst, he's their Field Marshall, Rabbitoh von Sprinkerhoffenhausenscheissen. Think Rommel, but fluffy. How else could he have gotten the part of Wolverine unless he was actually FLUFFY???

Yes, Bunnies are out to get you and I, and they've got machine guns. So my dear, dear friend, next time you see a Rabbit, look it in the eye, and say, "YOBBOYOBBOYOBBO!!!" which is not just Australian slang for a good ole boy, but is a warning that Bunny Invaders are near! Heed my words, friend, for they're coming to get you, and I, both!!!

Subscribe in a reader